SPL Team forum, pictures, videos, builds, advice.
 
HomeCalendarFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 EPIC for sale add

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Mat-Romain
Admin
avatar

Posts : 123
Join date : 2009-12-06
Age : 30
Location : Durham

PostSubject: EPIC for sale add   Thu Apr 07, 2011 6:47 pm

Date Listed 18-Mar-11
Last Edited 02-Apr-11
Price $2,000.00
Address Ambler Bay, Barrie, ON L4M, Canada
View map
For Sale By Owner
Make Subaru
Model Impreza
Year 1998
Kilometers 183000
Body Type Wagon
Transmission Manual
Colour Green
Drivetrain All-wheel drive (AWD)
Type Used






OK, let me start off by saying this Impreza is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Subaru would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Bed Bath and Beyond. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. This car has been to hell and back, twice, and has the scars to prove it. So if you can't handle being seen behind the wheel of this biblical, fire breathing, dragon slaying, nazi killing hero because it has a few purle hearts, move on.

This wagon was engineered by 3rd degree ninja pirate super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 137 HP engine to outrun the cops and a 5 speed tranmission so you know grandma wont be taking off with it when your not looking. It's saved my bacon more than once. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $2500 but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $500 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 183 000 km's on this all-wheel drive hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then reply to this ad. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my lady, but leave a message and I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'll throw in a second set of 17" summer rims so you can impress all your friend with their honda civics. This car has no problems what so ever. It passed its last e-test and safety with flying colours but is being sold as-is.

Kijiji add...wow

http://toronto.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehicles-cars-trucks-1998-Subaru-Impreza-Wagon-W0QQAdIdZ268172820

_________________
Mat Romain
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://teamassholespl.forumotion.com
Cliff Neil

avatar

Posts : 7
Join date : 2011-04-07
Age : 31
Location : Oshawa

PostSubject: Re: EPIC for sale add   Thu Apr 07, 2011 7:45 pm

lmfao ahahahahahaha no fuckin way ahahahaha this guys my fuckin hero ahahahahahahahahaha

_________________
Cliff Neil
Back to top Go down
View user profile
 
EPIC for sale add
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» For sale: EPIC Renegade 4G 11m kite, bar & lines
» Blade / Slingshot kites for sale
» Epic Infinity Light wind kite
» Epic Kites
» 3G demo kites for sale

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Team Asshole SPL :: Off Topic :: Anything Goes/Off Topic-
Jump to: